


If not for him

by ewewds



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Beorn is a sweetheart, Bilbo has a sister, Drinking, Everybody Lives, F/F, F/M, Fíli and Kíli are adorable, Gay, I just can't kill them ok I'm too weak, M/M, Mentions of Death, Minor Character Death, Original Character(s), Slow Build, Strong Language, That's so original good job me, descriptions of battles, female disguised as male, first fic, hobbits that aren't very hobbitish, injuries, possibly trans character I haven't decided, probably, this is probably going to be long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:36:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11061033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewewds/pseuds/ewewds
Summary: If Bilbo Baggins had any say in what his sister did she would be at home safe without any weapons or dwarves or, frankly, mind bogglingly crazy ideas. Trillium baggins would be a perfectly normal, respectable hobbit.As it happens, Bilbo Baggins did not have any say in what his sister did.





	1. In a hole in the ground

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic in years and ever on this site so I really hope you like it! Please give me feed back on anything you want to see or if I made any mistakes please let me know. Thank you for reading!  
> Edit I figured out HTML so now the thoughts and songs are italicized wow!

Bilbo Baggins was twenty-nine years old when he lost his parents. His father to the unforgiving cold of the Fell Winter and his mother shortly after, who faded from heartbreak. Many wondered if he too would fade, having lost so much before his coming of age, but he didn’t, he couldn’t, because of Trillium. Trillium, or Trim as most called her, was the absolute spit of Belladonna Took. She was smart and witty and had an adventurous streak as long and deep as the Brandywine River, and she was Bilbo’s twelve year old sister. He couldn’t leave her like they had, he would be there for her, and anytime his thoughts strayed to dark places she would look up at him with deep blue eyes, and he would come back to her.  
It was obvious from an early age that Trim was all Took. Brash and daring and quick to anger, but kind and always wanting to make people smile. She had her mother’s family and the Brandybuck’s wrapped around her little finger before she could walk, and she and Bilbo drove Bungo Baggins up the wall with their antics. The Baggins’ and Proudfoot’s were not so taken with the wild child. They were fair enough to her, but would whisper and shake their heads in disapproval as they watched her traipse home much past supper time with bruises on her legs cuts on her arms and dirt in her hair. The blame turned on Bilbo after their parents passing. “That poor child.” They would frown. “Raised by her brother before he had even matured. It’s the blind leading the blind! The mad leading the impressionable!” “You remember what Bilbo was like at that age, he seemed to calm down as he grew. Maybe there is hope for her in the future, the very distant future.” But as time went by it became clear that Trim would be Trim, and Trim was wild. Her eccentric ways would only grow and she would continue to charm the Took’s and scandalizes the Baggins’. When she turned twenty she decided that long curly hair wasn’t working for her, so she cut it until she had mere centimeters of ginger hair left sticking out of her head in odd ways. When Bilbo came home from the market he nearly fainted as she greeted him at the door. At twenty-four she gave up completely on dresses and skirts and would steal Bilbo’s trousers until he finally took her to the tailor to get some made. Eventually Hobbiton grew used to the strange girl and when she finally reached her majority Trim and Bilbo Baggins were no longer the biggest scandal in the Shire, and most could ignore if not accept them.  
But not all.

“I am telling you she is out of control! You’ve let this go on for too long Bilbo, she’s disgracing the family every time she steps out the door!” 

“She’s not going to change for me and she’s certainly never going to change for you, Lobelia.”

“Bow and arrows, Bilbo! She walked right by me this morning armed with a bow and arrows.”

“Unless she shot you with the bow and arrows I see no reason for you to be telling me things I already know.” Bilbo pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood outside his front door - before second breakfast, mind you - to deal with Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. He almost wished that Trim had shot Lobelia with her bow, as if she had she wouldn’t be here at this completely unreasonable hour yelling at him about dishonour and projectile weaponry.  
Honestly, yes, he wished his sister was a little more Baggins-ish, but he loved her even when she brought home dead quail and rabbits and put them on _his_ dining room table when he was eating lunch and their dead eyes would stare at him and make him lose his appetite.

A scoff of indignation brought Bilbo back to the present where Lobelia was making a face like she had sucked a lemon and been slapped across the face at the same time. “You two are terrible; horribly behaved! I can’t believe that the Thain has allowed this to go on for so long, you two are a disgrace!” She squawked and stomped down the path leading out the gate. Bilbo felt a spike of anger run down his spine and glared at the back of her head as she made her way down the hill. As she retreated into her smial he hoped she would eat a lemon cake that had gone bad before turning and going inside himself.  
This was going to be a long day.  
*  
Trillium returned a bit after elevensie’s with two rabbits, both speared through the eyes. She nodded at Bilbo and brought them through to the kitchen, before returning to lay herself across her brother’s lap, knocking his book out of his hands with a flourish.

“ _Trim_ -”

“Brother” she drawled, ignoring his glare. “How has your day been my sweet?”

“Lobelia stopped by.” 

Trim raised an eyebrow. “When? It’s hardly morning!”

“My dear sister” Bilbo sighed retrieving his book from where it had landed and frowned, one of the pages had creased. “It is nearly noon, and she came by before second breakfast complaining about your choice of weaponry, mainly about how you have weaponry in the first place.” He gave his sister a pointed look and poked her side. 

She sighed and got up, rolling her shoulders and popping her knuckles out as she did. “Guess she won’t be having any fresh rabbit soup for lunch.”

“Trim, please” Bilbo began, following his sister into the kitchen where she began cleaning and preparing the rabbits. “Would it kill you to be a bit more discreet about your… hobbies? I’m tired of listening to her complain about the same things every day! She still goes on about your hair you know, and one time she told me if I didn’t stop your nonsense you would end up wearing _boots_ one day!” She snorted. “Trim I’m serious. I love you, and I want to support you, but it’s hard when everything you do comes back to me.”

Trim was silent, staring pensively at the rabbit she was skinning. She finished the job before setting down her knife, she didn’t turn to Bilbo when she spoke next. “Do you want me to move out?”

Bilbo startled “What? Trim, no! Why would-”

“Because I wouldn’t be your burden anymore. You can tell people you kicked me out if you want, then I’ll be out of your way.”

“Trim that’s not what I meant! Just,” He paused, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “I want you to be happy. You’re young, you’ve only just reached majority! I’ve already had to turn away suitors for you - all too stuffy and pompous, probably just want Bag End for themselves.” She shot him a look over her shoulder. “They see you as a challenge, something to be tamed, and I’d hate to think you will be hounded your whole life because of your differences.” Bilbo sighed, taking a step closer to his sister. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy” Trim turned and put her hands on her brother’s shoulders. “This, us, makes me happy. If I acted the way everyone in Hobbiton wished I would be miserable.”  
“But what if you want a family?”

Trim sniffed. “I wouldn’t marry someone who wanted me to change, and I’ve already accidently adopted half of the Took children anyway.” She smiled “And I have you, Bilbo. The best family I could ask for.” Bilbo sighed and smiled, his sister was too young to understand that hobbits like them would only ever have each other. Did she see the piteous looks that followed them wherever they went? To the rest of the Shire they were “Those poor depraved orphans, driven mad by grief. If only their parents were there to guide them, absolutely hopeless.”

But Trim just smiled and patted his shoulders. “Good, now get some carrots and potatoes and other things to put in the soup, I’ll finish up here.”  
Would she ever know?  
*  
Trim was gone again after lunch - promising to be back by supper, evening snack at the latest, so Bilbo was left with a quiet afternoon ahead of him. With a stomach full of rabbit soup and knot of worry lodged in his brain he stepped out into the front garden for a smoke. It was a beautiful spring day, clouds rolling by lazily overhead and a warm breeze coming in from the west. He settled himself on the bench and took out his pipe and a bag of Old Toby and began to smoke his stress away. He’s not sure when he had closed his eyes, but upon opening them again he was met with the sight of a tall man in a grey cloak and hat. He stared back at the man who made no sign that he was going to introduce himself anytime soon.

Bilbo swallowed awkwardly “Good morning.” He choked out.

“What do you mean?” The man asked “Do you mean to wish me a ‘good morning’ or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I wish it to be or not?” Bilbo stared blankly in response, the man continued. “Or, perhaps, you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?”

“A-all of them at once, I suppose.” Bilbo stuttered out. “Can I help you?”

“That remains to be seen, I’m looking for someone to share in an _adventure_.” The man smiled.

Bilbo’s mouth opened but no response came out. “An advent-” He cleared his throat. “Now I don’t imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things – make you late for dinner!” Bilbo continued to mumble awkwardly hoping that the man would leave, he didn’t. “Good morning!”

“To think that I have lived to be ‘ _good morninged_ ’ by Belladonna Took’s son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!”

Bilbo stilled “Beg your pardon?”

“You’ve changed, and not entirely for the better, Bilbo Baggins.”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Well you know my name, but you can’t seem to remember I belong to it. I’m Gandalf! And Gandalf means… me!”

“Gandalf- not Gandalf the wondering wizard who made such excellent fireworks? Old Took used to have them on midsummers eve!” Bilbo exclaimed, thinking back to his childhood – sitting with his mother and father and eventually baby Trim, watching the lights dance across the sky in colourful explosions with wonder. Sobering from the reminder of his parents he continued “Had no idea you were still in business.”

Gandalf’s expression soured “And where else should I be?” Bilbo cleared his throat awkwardly and took another hit of his pipe. “Well I’m glad you remember something of me, even if it’s only my fireworks. That’s decided it! It will be very good for you, and most amusing for me! I will inform the others.” He smiled and made to walk back down the path.

“Wai- No! No we do not want any adventures here, not today not tom-” Bilbo stuttered as he climbed the steps to his front door “I, uh, suggest you try over the hill or across the water. I have enough to deal with as it is, thank you very much!” he paused again to offer a final “Good morning!” and with that he locked himself into his smial.  
_Not today_.  
*  
It was supper time and Trim still wasn’t back yet, and Bilbo was starting to get a bit worried. His sister had stayed out until all hours of the night and always been fine, but memories of the conversation they had earlier nagged at him in the back of his head. _Move out. Of course I don’t want her to move out!_ He thought. _Imagine all the trouble she would get into without me there to supervise her!_ But this was met with another voice – _**If she moved out you would be considered wholly respectable by Shire standards, Lobelia wouldn’t be able to hound you every minute**. Yes but this is Trim, I can’t abandon her, we’re all we have_. Shaking his head to himself Bilbo went about preparing his supper, lemon trout - there was some more for Trim whenever she showed up. It had been so long since they had regularly had their meals together, since Trim’s twenty-seventh birthday at least, so Bilbo had learned years ago that making food for his sister when she wasn’t home was only a waste of a hot meal.  
About to dig in and still somewhat caught up in his own head Bilbo startled at the sound of knocking at his door. _Trim? No she would never knock she doesn’t even knock to see if the bathroom’s occupied_. Frowning, Bilbo made his way to the door, opening it to find a dwarf. Not only a dwarf but a very large dwarf.  
_Bother_.

“Dwalin, at yer service.” The dwarf bowed without breaking eye contact. 

_No need to make yourself seem more intimidating, thank you_ , Bilbo shivered, tying up the sash on his house coat – my god is he just wearing his sleep clothes and a _house coat_ – “Bilbo Baggins at yours, sorry do we know each other?” He stuttered out.

The dwarf, Dwalin, scoffed “No!” and proceeded to barge into his home. “Which way, laddie, is it down here?”

“Is what down where?”

“Supper! He said there’d be food, an’ lots of it.” The dwarf said as he wandered off further into Bag End.

“He said, _who_ said?” 

Bilbo found Dwalin eating his lemon trout in a mildly disgusting manor - a particularly memorable part of which being when he took a bite _out of the head_! Having lost his appetite, Bilbo was sat pathetically in the corner watching his supper be devoured by the goliath dwarf (which he supposed was an oxymoron) when the next knock rang out. Rising stiffly he made his way back to the entrance hall to open the door.

A shorter, less intimidating dwarf stood there and smiled at him as he opened the door. “Balin, at your service!” He bowed low with his arms out stretched.  
“Good evening.” Bilbo replied flatly.

“Yes, yes it is!” Balin said stepping into the hall “Although, I think it migh’ rain later. Am I late?”

Bilbo frowned “Late for what?”

“Ah!” the older dwarf exclaimed, ignoring Bilbo’s question and stepping through into the parlour where Dwalin had his hand stuck in the cookie jar. “Evening, brother!” Bilbo’s mind flashed back to Trim, _oh gods, I’ll never hear the end of it if she sees this!_

“By my beard, you are shorter and wider then last we met!” Bilbo watched the brothers reconnect in a dissociative manor until they head butted with such force it made him feel slightly ill.

Another Knock. This time there were two young dwarves at his door.

“Fili” said one.

“And Kili” said the other “At yer service!” They finished in unison with a low bow. “You must be Mr. Boggins!” The dark haired one exclaimed.

“Nope! I’m sorry, you can’t come in you’ve come to the wrong house!” Bilbo tried to close the door only to have it pushed back open.

“Has it been cancelled?”

“No one told us!”

Bilbo blanked “Wha- Canceled? No, nothing’s been canceled.”

“Well that’s a relief!”

The two dwarves pushed their way into Bag End and, frankly, Bilbo had just about had it. He was handed weapons and cloaks as the dwarves moved further into his home and started rearranging furniture and gods help him he was going to-  
Another knock at the door.  
With now twelve dwarves and Gandalf the _bloody_ Grey raiding every last bit of food and drink he had, including the rabbit Trim had caught today which hadn’t been used in the soup and also hadn’t been prepared yet _when did they-_

“Nope, put that back that is a doily, not a dishcloth.”

“But it’s full of holes!”

“It’s supposed to be like that, it’s crochet.”

“Oh, and a lovely game it is too, if you’ve got the balls for it!” One of the dwarves grinned. Bilbo fumed.

“My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?”

Oh, Gandalf “What is the matter? I am surrounded by dwarves, what are they doing here?” Bilbo hissed at the wizard.

“Why, they’re quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.”

“I don’t _want_ to get used to them, look at the state of my kitchen. And there’s mud treading the carpet, I’m not even going to tell you what they’ve done in the bathroom, they’ve all but destroyed the plumbing. I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!”

“Excuse me.” Came a small voice from beside him. Bilbo turned his glare onto one of the younger dwarves currently swarming his house. The dwarf was oblivious to his rage. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?”

Bilbo was about to tell the dwarf exactly _where_ he could stick his plate when the blond, Fili, popped out of nowhere. “Here you are, Ori, give it to me.” He said as he took the plate and threw it down the hall to his brother, Kili.

“Excuse me! Those were my mother’s best pottery they’re over a hundred years old!” Bilbo squawked as he watched as more and more dwarves joined in on playing hacky-sack with the dishes they had just eaten on. A clanking sound began in the dining room and another wave of panic swelled inside the hobbit. “No! No, please don’t do that with the knives, you’ll blunt them!” 

His concern seemed to amuse the dwarves to no end. “Did ya hear that, lads? He said we’ll blunt the knives!” And then the singing began.

 _Blunt the knives, bend the forks,_  
Smash the bottles and burn the corks  
Chip the glasses and crack the plates  
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates

__

Cut the cloth, trail the fat,  
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat  
Pour the milk on the pantry floor  
Splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl  
Pound them up with a thumping pole  
And when you've finished if any are whole  
Send them down the hall to roll!

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

That, of course, was when Trim arrived.  
*  
It was a little later than she had expected to stay out, but one simply couldn’t say no to a round of free pints at the Green Dragon. So with her head swimming a bit and another freshly caught rabbit in her hand, Trim made her way back to Bag End. _Hope Bilbo won’t be mad_ she thought, _I only had three pints, after the drinking contest_. Making her way up Bagshot Row, she saw a large figure on the Merry Meander looking confused and possibly cursing under their breath. _Not a hobbit then, but not a man. A dwarf_? She began making her way towards them.

“S’cuse me?” The figure startled at her voice and turned, Trim giggled back. “Are you looking for something?”

After a brief, calculated pause, the figure came closer revealing a dwarf in heavy travel gear with a sword on his hip. He grumbled out in a deep voice “Have you any idea where I might find a place called Bag End?”

Trim raised an eyebrow. “I might considering I live there. Who are you?”

The dwarf raised his eyebrow in response “If you are here then who is with my company at Bag End?”

“Well, I’ve been out all day” She said making her way down the road, allowing the dwarf to follow. “But my brother’s probably there. Now who are you?”

“My name is Thorin Oakenshield.”

“Weird last name.”

“It is not a last name.” Thorin grunted.

“Well, my name is Trim. I’m afraid I’ve had a bit to drink tonight, I didn’t know my brother was having company over. How many others are there?”

“Are all hobbits this curious?”

Trim stopped in the road and turned to the dwarf “I feel I have a right to know considering they are in _my_ home that I am leading you to!” She glared with her hands on her hips. It probably wasn’t very threatening with her being a good six inches shorter than him but it seemed to get her point across.

Thorin stared back. “My apologies, Master Trim,” _Master? Does he think_ \- “I am afraid travel has made me wary of strangers.” Trim nods, head still reeling from being referred to as Master, and continues her trek back up the road beckoning the dwarf to follow. “There are thirteen of us, including myself, and a wizard as well.”

Trim attempted to stifle a giggle. _Thirteen dwarves and a wizard? What has my brother gotten himself into_? They climbed the steps to the door and Trim paused to look at the boot tracks covering the welcome mat and part of the garden. She stared at them in fascination, holding her foot over the prints to compare the sizes. Thorin pushed past her readying himself to knock. “You don’t have to knock, I live here, remember?” Trim grinned and made her way past the dwarf to push open the door.  
Laughter rung out through the halls of Bag End. There were heaps of cloaks and weapons piled onto her mother’s glory box and more muddy boot prints tracked through the hall and onto the carpet. She could see some of the dwarves running around with various items of food from her pantry and others washing up in the kitchen, and she could hear shouts from the dining room for more ale and food. Completely forgetting the dwarf behind her Trim ran off to see her unexpected guests, giddy at the idea of meeting so many dwarves.  
They were huge! Not as tall as men but much broader, and with thick hair covering most of their heads and faces, safe for a few with shorter beards or the two balding ones. And amongst them all was Bilbo, her adoring brother, scrambling around like a chicken with his head cut off. His arms were flailing about and his face set into a permanent scowl, she couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of her.

“ _Trim_!” The surrounding noise quieted at the yell of the irate hobbit. Dwarves began looking around to find what was being trimmed only to spot a new smaller figure in near tears of laughter who seemed to be the focus of Bilbo’s current outburst.

“Hello!” Trim wheezed before collapsing in another bought of giggles.

“Where, might I ask, have you been all day?” Bilbo stormed up to his sister, his nose twitched “Have you been drinking?”

“Well I had to prepare for the party, brother! Oh, and I found another dwarf on the road- _Shit_ , I forgot him in the hall!” 

“You- What?” Bilbo barely stuttered out before Trim ran off straight into the chest of the aforementioned dwarf.

“Oh! Sorry” She went to pat his chest to find she was actually hitting him gently with the rabbit she had forgotten she’d caught. She stared at it a moment before gingerly placing it on the table. “Right, Bilbo please come with me, we need to discuss something.” And with that she grabbed her brother’s hand and hauled him into the study.  
Making sure to close the door, Trim began rambling in an excited hush.

“Bilbo! Bilbo, the dwarves think I’m male, let’s keep going with that!”

“Trim what on middle earth are you talking about- Did you _know about this_?”

“What? No! I was at the Green Dragon-”

“Yavanna, save us, I told you I don’t like you going there alone!”

“I’m an adult, I’ll remind you! Anyway so as I was making my way home-”

“And where did you find that dwarf? Why did you bring him here?”

“If you would _let me finish_! I was on my way home when I ran into him looking all lost so I asked where he was going and he said Bag End! Said he had a whole company up here with a wizard and all so I figured might as well see if it’s true. So as we’re walking he’s being a bit of a cunt-”

“ _Trim_!”

“And I tell him as much and he apologizes to “ _Master Trim_ ” so I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m male and I think we should stick with that it sounds fun.”

Bilbo blinked. “The dwarves think you’re male.”

Trim nodded “I think so, yeah.”

“And you want them to keep _believing_ that you’re male.”

“I think that would be the wisest course of action, yes.”

“Wisest cour- Trim what are you-”

Gandalf entered the study cutting Bilbo’s scolding speech short. _Why did he look so pleased_? “So Belladonna did have a daughter as fiery as her!” He said with a look of fascination on his face. “Trillium Baggins, I am so happy to finally meet you!” He said stepping towards the siblings.

“Right,” Said Bilbo “Gandalf-”

“ _Gandalf_? As in the wondering wizard who went on all those adventures with our mum?” Trim gasped.

“The very same, my dear, now your brother called you “Trim”?”

“It’s my short name, Trillium is too long.”

“Ah, yes-”

“ _Now wait a minute_!” Bilbo fumed and two pairs of blue eyes turned to him in alarm, one clear as ice and the other deep and the evening sky. “First of all, why are there dwarves in my house? Why have they eaten all my food and acted as though I want them here? Second, no I will not refer to you as male, _Trillium_ , and we will right the dwarves’ slight of judgement as soon as I get out there!”

“I think it would be smart to refer to your sister as your brother actually, that would make things less complicated on the journey.”

“ _Journey_?”

“Come, we have rudely abandoned our guests, and more introductions are in order!” Gandalf then proceeded to open the study door with a flourish and he and Trim hurried off to see the dwarves again.  
_Oh, no. You meddling wizard, you will leave my sister out of this_! Bilbo thought as he stormed out of the room after the pair.

“I apologize for our absence, I’m afraid one of our hosts was ill-informed about this meeting. This is Trim Baggins, Bilbo’s younger brother.”  
_Too late._


	2. A contract

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a delay! Life caught me unaware and I wasn't able to finish this until just now. Thank you all for being patient with me these past few weeks, please enjoy this chapter!

Thorin was quickly growing annoyed with the hobbits. He was weary and everything looked the same in the damned Shire, but he had trusted Gandalf to find him a suitable burglar, so he traveled from a disappointing council meeting in the dwarf settlement of Ered Luin to meet the praised halfling. Only, now there were _two_ halflings, and one was very drunk and the other was a fussy homebody. As he settled at their table while they disappeared with the wizard, he let the events of that day wash over him.   
Great Mahal was he tired.

“Balin,” He called “what are your impressions of the halflings?”

His old friend shook his head “Well I wouldn’t put either of them down as ‘burglar material’, but I’ve really only met the older one.”

“Do you think they’re all like that? Anxious and fussy like a new mum?” Kili asked.

“Definitely strange folk, did you see their hair?” said Bofur.

“And their _feet_!” cried Bombur.

“But the littler one seemed alright, certainly entertaining if nothing else.”

“He is drunk, and not entirely pleasant.”

“Uncle, were you scolded by a little hobbit?” Fili laughed, Thorin glared back at him. A bowl of soup was placed in front of him which he gratefully dug into, happy to have something to fend off his growling stomach. The company continued expressing their opinions about the hobbits as Thorin finished his meal, the general consensus being ‘We should have them along at least for entertainment’ and ‘They’d be dead before we hit Bree’. 

“Thorin,” Dwalin finally called “what came of the meeting in Ered Luin? Will the dwarves of the Iron Hills be with us?”

The mood of the room sobered as the company waited for his response. He sighed “They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone.” This was met with murmurs of disapproval and disappointment from the surrounding dwarrows. 

And then Gandalf reappeared, one hobbit beside him –Trim, the drunk one - and the other trailing along behind him - Bilbo. “I apologize for our absence, I’m afraid one of our hosts was ill-informed about this meeting. This is Trim Baggins, Bilbo’s younger brother.” 

_Right, our burglars_ , Thorin sighed as he looked over the hobbits. _No way are they coming with us_. 

“Tell me, Master Baggins’” Thorin glared at Bilbo, “have you done much fighting?” 

“Beg your pardon?” The hobbit sputtered.

Thorin went on as if he hadn’t spoken at all. “Axe or sword, what is your weapon of choice?”

“Well, I do have some skill at conkers, but I fail to see why that’s relevant.” 

“Thought as much” Thorin snorted, turning to the other dwarves “He looks like more of a grocer than a burglar.” The company snickered at the look of offence and confusion on the hobbit’s face. Thorin continued “And you,” He turned to the younger halfling, “How long have you been doing archery?”

“A good ten years at least, I’m the best archer in the Shire!”

“That’s because you’re the only archer in the Shire, Trim.” Bilbo rolled his eyes.

“Still makes me the best.”

“Ten years?” The dwarf scoffed “Gandalf, why do you waste our time by bringing us here?”

“Now wait a minute!” Trim stomped forward, only to be cut off by a hand on her shoulder.

“Yes, Gandalf,” Bilbo gave a glare of his own “Why did you bring a troop of dwarves into our home, _without warning_?”

“Now, now, my dear hobbits” The wizard smiled “All will be explained in time, but before that why don’t we have a little more light?” Bilbo grudgingly set about getting out more candles as Gandalf pulled an old map from his cloaks. “Far to the east, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak.” Trim leaned over the table to get a better look at what had been set before them.

The map was weathered and aged, but still the writings on it were legible enough. “The Lonely Mountain” Bilbo read over her shoulder. 

“Aye.” Gloin rumbles. “Oin has read the portents and the portents say it is time!” Trim turned to look at her brother and shared a silent question of _what is going on?_ This was met with a head shake and the equally silent answer of _I haven’t the slightest_. Gloin continued “Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold! _When the birds of old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end_.”

“And what “beast” would that be?” Trim asked.

“Well that would be a reference to “Smaug the Terrible”, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age.” Bofur replied. “Airborne fire-breather” A chill went down Trim’s spine and Bilbo put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Teeth like razors, claws like meat-hooks, extremely found of precious metals-”

“Yes, we know what a dragon is.”

Ori stood up abruptly, causing the attention of the room to fall to him. “I’m not afraid!” He boasted “I’m up for it, I’ll give ‘im a taste of dwarvish iron right up his jacksie!” This declaration was met with calls of praise and agreement as well as an irritated Dori hauling his brother back into his seat.

Balin shook his head. “The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, and we’re numbered only thirteen. And not thirteen of the best,” he shot a look at his brother “nor _brightest_.” Shouts of indignation were thrown at the older dwarf.

Fili shook his head. “We may be few in numbers, but we’re fighters. All of us, to the last dwarf!” He cried, hitting the table top to accent his point.

“And do you forget we have a _wizard_ in our company, Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time!” Kili added.

Finally, Gandalf had the good grace to look uncomfortable, muttering about _oh, I'm not sure about hundreds_.

“How many then?” Dori pressed. “How many dragons have you killed?” A pause ensued as the wizard took a long hit from his pipe as a way of avoiding the question. “Go on! Give us a number!” 

The chaos that followed allowed Bilbo time to wrap his arms around his sister and pull her into the parlour and away from the mad ramblings of dragons and adventures.

“Trim this has gone on far enough, it is time you told those dwarves you aren’t male and we send them on their way!” Bilbo huffed.

“Oh, come on. We can’t just kick them out, it’s so late already!” She cried “And don’t you think it would be better that I maintain the guise of masculinity around thirteen large dwarves? It will make things less awkward on the road!” Trim sent her brother a pointed look that said do not argue with me on this.  
He did, of course, argue with her on this.

“Trim, _no_! Firstly Gandalf would never let any harm come to you and since you are most certainly not going with them on this adventure there is no point of keeping this up!” A yell rang out from the other room silencing the dwarves as the hobbits glared at each other. As the noise in the next room rose again to a low murmur Trim continued in a harsh whisper.

“You do not get to tell me what to do anymore, _brother_. You hold no authority over me.”

“I am the _head_ of this _family_!”

Trim Straightened “You are the head of the Baggins’, but as I’m sure you’ve noticed I am far more a Took.” And with that she stormed back into the dining room, leaving Bilbo in a mixed state of confusion anger and hurt. His own little sister, whom he raised from a fauntling, so easily disregards him the moment something new comes along? Why? He thinks. What have I done so wrong?

“-Give him the contract.”

Right

Dwarves.

_Gandalf_.

“It’s just the usual; summary about expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.” Balin explained as he handed Trim a long folded up roll of paper.

“ _Funeral arrangements_?” Bilbo squawked, snatching the contract from the old dwarf. Trim muttered something along the lines of _we’re all gonna die anyway_ as Bilbo read through the contract. “Members of the company will not be liable for injuries including but not limited to laceration,” He paused “evisceration, _incineration_?” Bilbo looked frantically at Trim who shrugged. “ _Do you even know what these words mean_?” He asked.

One of the dwarves took it upon himself to answer. “Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.” He nodded, Bilbo stared back at him in shock. This seemed to say to the dwarf; _oh, I’m confused, please explain in greater detail the ways a dragon can kill you_. “Think furnace with wings!”

“Alright, yes, I- I need air!”

“Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! You’re nothin’ more than a pile of ash!”

“Ye alrigh’ laddie?” Balin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bilbo took to breathing with his head between his legs for a minute before standing slowly. He shot a look at Trim who shrugged. He straightened, turned to the dwarves and-  
“Nope.”

He collapsed to the floor.

*

After moving her brother to his arm chair Trim set about reading the rest of the contract – contrast to what most would think she did know to read things through before signing them. It was all very straight forward and self-explanatory, including a general idea of the route they would be taking, and detailing exactly what Trim would be expected to steal, a stone. More specifically “The Arkenstone”, which would be enough proof to the other dwarf colonies of Thorin’s right to rule (oh, right, apparently he is a _king_ and Trim had _yelled_ at him, marvelous) and they could then call on them to either help remove the corpse of the dragon or exterminate him.

She was about halfway through the contract when a mug of ale was placed beside her on the table. She looked up to see Thorin’s nephews, the princes. “Thank you” She mumbled, taking a sip of her new drink.

“So, are you coming?” The brunet, Kili, asked.

She opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted “You boys don’ go pesterin’ the hobbit, one of them’s already fainted!” Bofur grinned, winking.

“We just want to know if he’s with us or not.” Said Fili.

“I think I am.” Three sets of eyes turned back to her. “And if I’m coming then Bilbo probably will too, he doesn’t want me off on my own yet.” Trim grumbled, skimming through the rest of the contract.

“Why not? You’re of age, aren’t you?” Asked Kili.

“Yes but he has trouble seeing that.”

“’S always the way with younger siblings.” Nodded Bofur “I still see Bombur as a waddling dwarfling whenever I look at ‘im, but he’s got a family of his own now!”

“Really! How many?” Trim asked.

“Oh, just the one, Bamfur, lovely lad, just past ‘is majority!”

“So why didn’t he join the quest, or his mother?”

Bofur snorted “Well someone needs t’ work and provide while we’re gone! And women are too precious t’ have on quests, so rare as they are, it’d be like lettin’ a child come with us!”

Trim frowned. “But they aren’t children, they’re adults.”

“Well yes, but they make children!” Said Kili, looking back at Fili who nodded encouragingly. “And we need to protect them!”

“Men help in making the children too, yet you all seem happy to volunteer your lives for this quest.”

“It’s different, lad.” Sighed Bofur “There’s only one dwarf lass for every two dwarf lads, so we’re very protective of our women. They’re perfectly capable of handlin’ themselves in a fight, but we do our best for it t’ never come to that.”

Trim huffed and took a swig of her ale. “I think it should be up to them whether or not they choose to fight or travel.”

“So you would have your wife off and about without knowing where she was?” Fili asked incredulously.

Trim sniffed. “Well I’m not married, and doubt I ever will be, but I would see no reason to hold someone back from doing what they want. People should be able to live their lives freely.” And with that she turned back to the contract in her hands. The younger dwarves looked between each other trying to find an answer. Bofur shrugged and wandered off again, leaving the brothers to deal with the smaller hobbit.  
A silent conversation went on between the two as Trim continued to read through the contract. _Should we leave him alone?_ Asked Fili. **But we don’t have any answers yet!** Replied Kili. _He said he’s coming with us, we have time to learn more about him on the road._ **But we’re alone with him here, now!** _Kili, no._

Kili huffed, turning away from his brother and back to the hobbit. “So, you don’t want to get married?” Fili elbowed him.

Trim sighed and looked up at the boys again. “At this point in my life, no. Maybe one day, but even if I did my only options at the moments are stuffy hobbits who want me ‘tamed’. Even Bilbo isn’t happy with the suitors who’ve come for me.” She stood up from her chair looking for a quill.

The princes followed behind her. “You’ve had suitors? Male suitors?” 

“Well, yes, what else would I have?” 

“So hobbit men can court other hobbit men?”

Trim paused. _Right, male, they think I’m male_. “Well,” she thought hard through her liquor clouded mind to whether or not she’d heard of such a thing before. “it’s very rare, but acceptable, I suppose. Not so much in the more ‘respectable’ families, but I have a few cousins and uncles who married other men.” Not entirely true, but there was a Brandybuck man years ago who had a husband.

“And you like men, then?” Fili prompted.

“And why would you like to know?” She asked, turning around with a smirk.

Fili answered with a smirk of his own. “I may have my reasons.” He grinned.

Kili made a retching noise from beside him.

Trim shook her head and went back to searching her desk, letting the implications of the past exchange. _Am I gay?_ She wondered, she then shook her head _I’m not even male what am I thinking! Although, could I be man in a woman’s body? There was that one date with Anya Greenhand…_ When she finally found her quill she hurriedly scribbled her signature at the dotted line of the contract, blushing furiously now as she wondered about the true implications of the previous conversation. Before further questions arose she wandered off again mumbling “need to get this to Balin”, leaving the princes behind her.  
Which is when she heard Gandalf and her brother arguing. She sighed and took a huge swig of ale before following the noise to the parlour.

“You have been sitting quietly for far too long!” Scolded Gandalf as Bilbo sat sipping a cup of tea one of the dwarves, Dori, had made for him. Trim allowed herself a brief reprieve from further interrogation by leaning in the doorway and watching the wizard give her brother a half pep-talk half mocking speech about just why he should go on the quest. It included a brief Took family history lesson as well as a comment about the countless adventure stories Bilbo reads about without ever going off on his own.   
Eventually Bilbo did look up and spot her, as well as the contract she held. He seemed less than pleased. 

“Trim, please give me that so that I can get rid of it.” He demanded, rising from his armchair with his hand outstretched.

“No.” Trim replied, holding the contract out behind her as if that could truly keep it out of his reach.

“Trim-”

“No, I’m sorry, but I must get this to Mister Balin to inform him that I’ve joined the company.”

Bilbo paled “Trim, no! You can’t do that, I’m not letting you!”

“Last I recalled I am of age and can make decisions for myself.” She glared. Bilbo opened his mouth to retort only to be cut off again by his sister “ _But_ , I did leave room at the end for your signature, if you want to come.” Bilbo looked tired and conflicted as he stared into his sisters eyes. “Please, Bilbo? It would be like when we were younger, but this time it would be real.”

He sighed, shaking his head “I need to think about this.” He said, and turned and left down the hall to his bedroom.   
Trim felt her eyes well with tears.

“He will come, my dear, you will see.” Said Gandalf as he reached over to pat her on the back.

She sniffled and nodded, wiping at her eyes. “Probably, but it still hurts.” Bilbo had never turned his back on her before. Even though he wasn’t ever thrilled with some of her plots and ideas at the end of the day he usually trusted her to know her limits. Admittedly, going on a quest halfway across the world to fight a dragon might be a bit bigger than going fishing alone with their Took cousins for half a summer in her tweens, but the comparison seemed pretty fair to her in her drunk mind.  
And then a humming came from the den, interrupting her thoughts. A low, chesty sound that seemed to travel through the ground around them as it vibrated through Bag End. A sad slow melody that soon carried on into a sad slow song.

_Far over the Misty Mountains cold_  
To dungeons deep, and caverns old,  
We must away ere break of day  
To seek the pale enchanted gold. 

_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_  
While hammers fell like ringing bells  
In places deep, where dark things sleep,  
In hollow halls beneath the fells. 

_For ancient king and elvish lord_  
There many a gleaming golden hoard  
They shaped and wrought, and light they caught  
To hide in gems on hilt of sword. 

_On silver necklaces they strung_  
The flowering stars, on crowns they hung  
The dragon-fire, in twisted wire  
They meshed the light of moon and sun. 

_Far over the misty mountains cold_  
To dungeons deep and caverns old  
We must away, ere break of day,  
To claim our long-forgotten gold. 

_Goblets they carved there for themselves_  
And harps of gold; where no man delves  
There lay they long, and many a song  
Was sung unheard by men or elves. 

_The pines were roaring on the height,_  
The winds were moaning in the night.  
The fire was red, it flaming spread;  
The trees like torches blazed with light. 

_The bells were ringing in the dale_  
And men they looked up with faces pale;  
The dragon’s ire more fierce than fire  
Laid low their towers and houses frail. 

_The mountain smoked beneath the moon;_  
The dwarves they heard the tramp of doom.  
They fled their hall to dying fall  
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon. 

_Far over the misty mountains grim_  
To dungeons deep and caverns dim  
We must away, ere break of day,  
To win our harps and gold from him 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I enjoyed the comments on my last chapter and would love to hear more from you. I will try to get the next chapter up before next Sunday, thank you for your patience!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know in the comments what you think! I should have another chapter up sometime before the end of next week, thank you for reading!


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